Corporate Thinker Pillows

"You have not shown initiative because I never asked you to?"

"Empathy? Yeah, I can see how that could be useful."

'I like to give something back to the community.'

'What this company needs are some new and original old-fashioned ideas.'

'That's our mission statement.'

'We have a problem' because of the economy, we are being forced to hire outside of our good old boy network.'

Global Economy.

"Take me to your thought leader."

'We're looking for creative, inventive minds that can rationalize anything we do.'

'You'll get more flies with honey than with vinegar, Henderson; But if you pull their little wings off they have to eat anyhting you'll give them.'

"We appreciate your insights Norman but the firm has reached the stage where we need actual ideas."

What is the difference between a boss and a leader?

'I know what we need to turn this around, a mindless product that will make money fly out of peoples pocketbooks!'

Markets and hierarchies.

I think, theerfore I am underpaid

Zen and the art of making big bucks

'We can solve our problems with a merger, a government bailout, or actually producing something worth selling...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"