Corporate Team-building Event Mugs

He had to control his tail or face the most bizarre sexual harassment suit in history.

Team Spirit Day: "Excuse me... I get a little choked up when I talk about our team."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

"This position has become very important to the company."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Inclusive speech