Corporate Strategy Buff Prints

Welcome to the Race to the Bottom

Deepseek

"I'm afraid we'll have to postpone our contract talks. Our new negotiator quit. he won't work for the wages we pay."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle