Corporate Sage Pillows

'It's not important to know all the answers. It's more important to anticipate all the questions and be ready to offer suitable platitudes.'

"I make money, therefore I am."

'Remember darling, don't make yourself indispensable - if you can't be replaced you can't be promoted.'

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'I know you did your level best, Henderson -- the trouble is, your level best is lopsided!'

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

'A man should be greater than some of his parts.'

Guru, Inc: VP parables, VP Allegories, VP Enigmas, VP Riddles.

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Successful leadership involves more than just shouting at people."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

The day the stock market went UP.

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Career Choices

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Between Offices

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"Intrapreneuring chief- how about a glass on the house?"

Climate Summit

"Your test results are back. We're going to have to remove your appendix and your wallet."

"Say one Our Father Attenborough and three Hail Gretas."

"This looks good, Jim, but we'd better run it by legal, Siri, and Alexa."

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

"Raise your hand if you're the only one that's not getting let go."