Corporate Presentation Pillows

'If you connect these dots, ladies and gentlemen, you'll know our financial position.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Bo're'droom

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

Inclusive speech

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

Welcome to the Team

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Any questions?"

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."