Corporate Planning T-Shirts

"Something about this proposed merger with Wickery Basket Company makes me nervous."

'Our core values statement is now official.'

'I guess you lost me, Hank, at the point where we jump to light speed, travel back in time and undo the stupid merger that's causing all of our current problems!'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

'Unfortunately our policy initiative of a '360' degree client facing strategic realignment of core structural...'

"Ok, I came up with the plan. Now you go and implement it."

"Better put out notepads and pens in case any of them has an idea."

'If you think Plan A was unworkable, wait until you see our Plan B.'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

"This is Plan A. I recommend we skip it and get right on to Plan B."

'I worry we have no backup plan if things go right.'

'The details of the company's new management plan are being worked out.'

"I think we should try for a more detailed business strategy than 'making enough money to choke a rhino.'"

"Accepting change involves more than changing the 'Managing Change' meeting to next month!"

"We need to give this enough time for it to prove me right."

"I say let's go with it. We've never tried a groveling approach before."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)