Corporate Leadership Pillows

'Almost finished.'

"As C.E.O., I try to look at the big picture, while J.G., as president, sees to the day-to-day operations."

'As you know, George, we female C.E.O.'s use a collaborative management style. With that in mind, how would you prefer to be fired?'

'Yes, long term strategy needs fresh crayons.'

Controversial boardroom appointments

"Who would like to give me feedback on my leadership qualities?"

"I suppose I'll be the one to mention the elephant in the room."

'Remember Henderson; power corrupts, and absolute power is even nicer.'

'Chairman and Chief Executive'

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

'Honey, are we interested in making a contribution to the society for the ethical treatment of middle managers?'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'The reason we pay our CFO, Hargrove the big bucks is so we don't have to pay OTHERS the big bucks.'

'He may have swallowed too much change.'

"No windows, but there's a glass ceiling."

'There you have it, gentlemen. The ideal anti-corruption three-pint self-regulatory business framework.'

'I think I know where you're coming from. Turn and go back.'

"When I said we weren't infallible, I didn't mean you, sir."

'Decision time. Which bridge to cross and which to burn.'

'...and you feel all CEO's have the power to giveth and taketh away?'

Meetings

'Ms Kaye, send in the company optimist.'

'If being a CEO was easy, everybody would be doing it.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"That was classic me."

"We've committed to employing 40% women at senior levels. It's the future, we can't afford to ignore it."

"You have excellent qualifications but we were actually looking for someone with testicles."

'We're in big trouble, boss! Our goons have joined our scabs on the picket line!'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"Our meetings are less about the art of gentle persuasion and more about slap and tickle."

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

Glass Ceiling

"We've set up a trap. . . I mean, track, for female hires to get to the top."

"Your dedication and hard work have completely turned this company around. I guess you're no longer needed."

'Agreed, for our stockholders meeting. . . Peg will make her layer cake, Helene her torte. . .'