Corporate Jouster Pillows

After their colleagues had mocked their presentation, only one course of action was open...

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'What's wrong now?'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Career Choices

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

Under new blame.

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"Best project manager we ever had."