Corporate Jetsetter Pillows

'As you know Fenton, we have branch offices in some pretty remote parts of the world...'

'It's pretty common among cruising executives, Mrs. Johnson... we call it non-jet-lag.'

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

Airport Bored Rooms

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Business-Class.

"Hell: The Airport"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

Airline Mergers.

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

'At least we're still in first class.'

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"