Corporate Jetsetter Pillows

'As you know Fenton, we have branch offices in some pretty remote parts of the world...'

'It's pretty common among cruising executives, Mrs. Johnson... we call it non-jet-lag.'

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Airport Bored Rooms

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Business-Class.

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"Hell: The Airport"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Airline Mergers.

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

'At least we're still in first class.'

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"