Corporate Irony Enthusiast T-Shirts

'At least, the customers still remember our company, our products and me...'

"That efficiency expert you hired said I should get rid of you."

"Management think staff need to use their initiative more, and they forwarded a 65 page memo on how they want you to do it."

'Purvis, you're here to resolve complaints, not to cause them.'

An unequal opportunity employer.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

Office pics on dinner table.

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

Water company bonus.

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."

Thesaurus Company

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

The role of administration.

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'