Corporate Identity Lover Pillows

'Yes, I strongly believe in the concept of corporate identity. Why do you ask'?

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

The MBA Draft

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"We have an acronym!"

"At this office no two days are different."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

In and Out Sourced.

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

Office meeting

"I think you might need to start again."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"