Corporate Identity Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Before we choose a Company Symbol, remember that it's going to be a tattoo."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

The MBA Draft

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"At this office no two days are different."

"We have an acronym!"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

Office pics on dinner table.

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"I think you might need to start again."

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."

The role of administration.

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'