Corporate Culture Jester Pillows

'The christmas party is cancelled, but as a compromise you can still come in and have sex in the stationary cupboard.'

'Sorry, but I must go to my granny's funeral.' - 'I don't believe you, I want to see the body.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Spot the difference.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."