Corporate Counsel T-Shirts

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Tree in Dollar Shape.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."