Corporate Advancement Pillows

'If you keep convincing people at work that you are irreplaceable, how can you ever be promoted?'

Business man evolving in a 'Fast Track' lane

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Well, no wonder I feel blocked.'

Success, success, success.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

In basket-case.

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Working hours.

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

The Evolution of the Bonus

CEO du Jour

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"My making two million a year, …. It doesn't make me seem 'Mannish', does it?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'