Coping Pillows

"Whenever they low, I get high."

'I try not to push him. After all, his job, his division, his company and his hometown were eliminated.'

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Run, Mike, Run!

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"Omg, bird and squirrel are here."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'Got to give it to him - He knows how to leave gracefully.'

Mel puts on his best friend's thunder vest, crawls into a bathtub and tries to keep it together while democracy explodes all around him.

"Has it occurred to you that you occasionally feign a lack of understanding?" "What the hell does that mean?"

"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''

Test Therapy

Somebody needs a hug.

"It's the perfect cure for the corona virus blues."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'

'Son, you can always do what I used to do, during times of financial stress - have an anxiety attack.'

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

Solemn Seasons

"You're in New York City now. You gotta lose the southern hospitality if you truly want to fit in."

"Going to the dining room is included in the ban on non-essential travel."

"You're saying that an only child having an imaginary friend is perfectly normal, doctor?"

Denial Exit Now: Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance Next 4 Exits.

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

Clockdown

"I've got three pre-schoolers at home so I had to memorize the Serenity Prayer."

'Grace under pressure is a beautiful thing. Grace after the pressure is off...not so nice.'

"Closing all the district offices isn't completely negative...I mean it might encourage some of our clients to develop important coping skills."

"Colin never bothered with a seatbelt. The pub quiz team never recovered."

Isolating Castaways

"And FYI, Iggy has night terrors."

"And now, dear, I’m going to hum annoyingly and see how you like it."

"I recommend less screen time. Except, of course, for our therapy sessions, school, work, staying connected with loved ones, dating, telehealth, yoga instruction, and searching for vaccine appointments."