Coolness Coach Mugs

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

Interviews.

"Well, I'm going to have to disagree with you because that's how I deal with my insecurities."

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

'Great white shark! Where do they get that 'great' stuff? Know how hard that is to live up to?'

The great and near-great

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'

'Let's put it on the back burner for now. Give us both a chance to cool down.'

"Well, I admire your assertiveness, but you might want to work on your people skills!"

"Baldo, even though you've done something funny to your hair...it does not change my feeling for you. You're still my handsome nephew...and I still love you as much as before. Even if you've gone crazy in the head."

4 Failure Types: Mr. Underprepared, Ms. Overprepared, Ms. Insecure, Mr. Overconfident

Before and After Tattoos.

'Focus on the kick, and forget about all the seven-foot tall kick blockers they have.'

'Now this time, just for the heck of it, try releasing that sucker a little sooner,'

Personnel Dept - I see from your references you're a skilled man.

"You're the perfect candidate but I'm afraid your handshake was just a teensy bit soft."

The phrase "pushing the envelope" came into common usage after Tom Wolfe used it in his book "The Right Stuff." He was describing test pilots with exceptional courage who were expanding the limits of flight. Ernie wants to become a test pilot and people ask me if has the right stuff. Unfortunately, his level of courage can only be described by saying Ernie is not able to push the envelope because he's terrified of getting a paper cut!

Hang the PJ's

"He's in lockdown."

'Don't try and act cool by saying it's the blood of the undead, we both know it's acne.'

"It's always, 'hey God, thank for the win! It's never, 'hey God, need tickets?"

For five years before they added wheels, boarding was the coolest sport around.

'It's all right for you with your fan, - we insist that you do something about the thermostat out here!'