Cooking Comedy Connoisseurs T-Shirts

'Not now, you'll spoil your dinner.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Cook and her Maids

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

'No creamed peas for me today!'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

The Fault of the Fowl

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

10,000 Tasty Rabbit Recipes

"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

'Stan, you can still pick up that food! Due to the economy, the five second rule had been modified to eight seconds.'

'92 elements in the Universe and you always have to chuck the compound NaCl all over your dinner!'

Wife is reading a book intitled 'Meals in 5 minutes', husband is reading a book about 'Divorce in 5 days'.