Cooking Comedy Connoisseurs T-Shirts

'Not now, you'll spoil your dinner.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Cook and her Maids

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

'No creamed peas for me today!'

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

The Fault of the Fowl

10,000 Tasty Rabbit Recipes

Great Moments in Culinary History.

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

'92 elements in the Universe and you always have to chuck the compound NaCl all over your dinner!'

'Stan, you can still pick up that food! Due to the economy, the five second rule had been modified to eight seconds.'