Conversation Lovers T-Shirts

Wow - Some people never have it, some people have it mildly, and some people react so badly to it. Yeah, the virus is – I was talking about empathy.

Lance, do you realize that the only thing we have in common is our relationship? Not true, Gloria

Uriah persists in hovering near us, at the dinner-party

"Hi. My name is Jonathan, and I'll be your analyst today."

The Weather.

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Could I ask just one question?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Exciting potato bugs.

Protest

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

'I see an applicant being hired!'

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

Attention Span Man

'Mom can I have another apple?'

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'