Conversation Jockeys Prints

'No thanks. I don't drink when I'm driving home a point.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Could I ask just one question?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Men gossiping

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Attention Span Man

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

Big Talk/Small Talk.

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

White Wine Wisdom (2)

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

Bar Therapy

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'