Contractual Caper Connoisseur Mugs

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

Don't forget to read the small print.

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

You naughty kittens, you lost your mittens? Now you shall have a pie.

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'It's ok, he's signed - release his children.'

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.

'So, what are the terms of use?'

'Have you not noticed that our legal department is crawling with lawyers!'

"Basically, by signing here, you consent to letting me manage any life prolonging medical treatments."

A railway station covered in advertising.

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'This contract proposal needs more work. I'm not experiencing any twinges of guilt over it.'

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

'I'm afraid, Reverend, that what the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

'The fine print can be read only if held up to a mirror.'