Consumer Products Manager Prints

New!! Fizzo Cola. For years I worked at NASA, but never came to a launch party until I started working for a consumer products company.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'Can our software do that?'

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

Barcode Dreams

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'We've re-branded.'

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

Innovation & Calculation

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'Risky, but I like it!'

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

"You've got one day to come up with something new and exciting yet safe and time tested."

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"