"These kitchen shears are great for cutting plastic packaging. . . like the packaging they come in."
Consumer Product Critic Mugs
Start their day with a humorous mug that celebrates the sharp eye and witty critique of the consumer product connoisseur in your life. Perfect for their favorite coffee or tea.
The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."
Made in China
'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'
Woman thinking about luxuries.
Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.
"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"
"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"
'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'
"Do you have pants in XL?"
"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."
". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."
"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."
"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"
'For my latest line, I bought clothes at Target and then changed the label,'
"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."
"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."
"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."
Payback Time
"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."
Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).
"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."
Peace on Earth
"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."
"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."
Rejected Spider-man lunchbox ideas
Privacy Stops Where the Parking Lot Begins
'Thank goodness for these commercials on the nightly news or we'd never be aware that we need all these prescription medications.'
"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"
Factory Recall Unicorn.
College Bowl Games - Sponsors
The economy doctor
'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'
Woman impulsively buying a book about how to stop impulse buying.
'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'
Consumer Product Critic Mugs Collection
Consumer Product Critic Pillows
Find pillows featuring witty designs for the consumer product critic to add humor and comfort to their home.
Consumer Product Critic Prints
Browse prints that capture the playful spirit of the consumer product critic, ideal for decorating their favorite space.
Consumer Product Critic T-Shirts
Discover t-shirts that humorously celebrate the consumer product critic’s sharp wit and love for analysis.