Consumer Culture Humorist Pillows

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'Yes, all at once!'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Made in China

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

Sign Reform

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

"Do you have pants in XL?"

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

The Scottish Lawn

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"When did this game get started?"

"Today, the yen shot up on news it is spelled differently from the 'Yuan'."

Too Much Plastic.

Seven deadly sins store

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

'Today stocks dropped on news that the only thing to fear is everything.'

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Palm Reading

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

Melvin would go to any lengths to get away from McDonald's advertising...

'Remember to stay downwind from him, he can smell fear.'

'Well, of course you're having an identity crisis - your T-shirt has no logo.'

'Ok, ok, what about this one? There was an Irishman, an Italian and an Englishman ..'