Constructive Criticism Advocate Prints

"If you don't mind, please take a moment to fill out this brief customer service survey...now...while we watch."

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

Movies vs. Films

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

Alms Bank

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

Town Planning Department

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'If a job's worth doing, it's worth off-shooting.'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

"I owe you an apology. When you bought that muzzle, I was mad because I assumed you bought it for your dog."

'Your childhood treehouse is where we will begin therapy....'

'I'm appalled, the bank's limited my bonus to 'grossly sickening' when I've earned 'outrageous'.'

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

"Actually, there is such a thing as a stupid question, and you've just asked it."

"Are you sure its supposed to look like that?"

'In and/or out' sign on door of department of philosophy

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

"It's agreed, then—we look for a new place for lunch."

"I don't want it to look like I don't appreciate your qualifications and experience, but you're talking a lot of crap."

'We're going to need more money just to complete the model.'

"This circle of hell is for those who always hit Reply to All."