Constellation Comedy Fan T-Shirts

"Do you realize how often the Big Dipper comes up in a discussion of the constellations?"

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Bubble gum leaves

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'What's the wi-fi like?'

'I miss the evildoers.'

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."

'They come down here to smoke.'

'It was a split decision.'

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

'Ooh, look! A shooting star. Make a wish.'