Constellation Comedy Fan T-Shirts

"Do you realize how often the Big Dipper comes up in a discussion of the constellations?"

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Ghostwriting the Bible

Bubble gum leaves

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'What's the wi-fi like?'

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

"God lives in the eternal present. The gift that keeps on giving."

'They come down here to smoke.'

'It was a split decision.'

'I miss the evildoers.'

"The Lord has heard your prayers and has sent me to say unto you, shut up about it already."

"I'm sexually attracted to space."

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."