Connoisseur Of Dark Humor T-Shirts

"Hugo Chavez associated me with George Bush? How dare he mention me in the same sentence as that man!"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Vlad the Impala

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Dead Funny

Another day at work would be one too many...

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Housekeeping?!"

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"