Conflict Reporter Pillows

Journalist murder.

Squeezing the Free Press.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

Man Reading Laptop.

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

2020 Swiss barmy knife

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

War 2023

Invade/Fail/Deny

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

"Okay, you still have all the old problems, but we're adding new ones and you can't touch.

Flake News

'Here's our business editor to talk s**t to us for five minutes'

"In a move sure to revolutionize the industry, Lincoln Middle School is using Halloween candy energy levels to offset costs in November, December and January."

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

'If elected, I promise to my darndest to keep money in politics.'

Militant Pacifists

Today, tech stocks rose on news the latest gadgets avoided internet censorship by the Iranian government.'

'War protestor': 'Oh no! Not this again...'

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

US strike on Syria.

'Stocks are down. Bonds are down. Terrorism and natural disasters are up. Ask your doctor if medical marijuana is right for you...'

Try not to worry.

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'We interrupt this Special Bulletin to give you an even more special bulletin!'

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.