Conflict Reporter Pillows

Journalist murder.

Squeezing the Free Press.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

That's What Happens

Man Reading Laptop.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

2020 Swiss barmy knife

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

Invade/Fail/Deny

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

War 2023

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

"Okay, you still have all the old problems, but we're adding new ones and you can't touch.

Today, tech stocks rose on news the latest gadgets avoided internet censorship by the Iranian government.'

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

'Here's our business editor to talk s**t to us for five minutes'

'If elected, I promise to my darndest to keep money in politics.'

Militant Pacifists

"In a move sure to revolutionize the industry, Lincoln Middle School is using Halloween candy energy levels to offset costs in November, December and January."

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

US strike on Syria.

Flake News

'War protestor': 'Oh no! Not this again...'

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'Stocks are down. Bonds are down. Terrorism and natural disasters are up. Ask your doctor if medical marijuana is right for you...'

Try not to worry.

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

'We interrupt this Special Bulletin to give you an even more special bulletin!'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

Man chasing microphone.