Confirmation T-Shirts

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

'Pastor, 'confirmed' means we only have to attend church on Christmas and Easter, right?'

Early Piety

'Pop-up Bible.'

"OK, Thomas. This is the last form of i.d. I have."

'It helps with reception.'

Little Jesus at school...

Arrow Church

You realize this means 6 more weeks of lent.

Church Hymn

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

You can't miss us!

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

Holy Butterfly.

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

A Distinction

Jesus Falls Under the Cross (The Holy Bible).

Confirmation of Westminster School Boys at the Abbey

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'