Cone Of Shame Humorists T-Shirts

'Look on the bright side. It adds a cool echo effect to your bark.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"Fill it up!"

Dog wearing a cone

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

'No need to shout.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

They say I get 152 channels.

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

Puppy Love

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

'Be honest. Do I have ugly feet?'

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

"This is first-quarter projected-earnings report--does it make my butt look big?"

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

'I had a basketball-sized tennis ball removed from my stomach... I bet you can't top that!'

A woman doesn't realise she's speaking to a parrot in confessional.

Pizza for the priest.

Man mistakes portable table for a church confessional.

"You're right, you can hear the ocean."

"Really? You're going to use that to catch candy?"

'Wouldn't it be less of a burden on your conscience if you told the parliamentary standards committee rather than me.'