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"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

The fate of the emigrant

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

'I'll fix the problem... you fix the blame.'

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

'I think the problem is, Lydia, you're a man-hater and Robert, you're a woman-hater, and I can't stand either one of you.'

'Busting balls since 1983.'

"What a cute little spot for us to eventually get into a fight in!"

'We're facing a hostile takeover.'

Woman and scales.

'When the going gets tough, the tough SUE.'

Man at door of Think Tank sees signs Closed Now a Thought Tank.

Orienteering 101

"True, you have irreconcilable differences, but they're mainly about flossing."

"We were about to get a divorce, but we decided instead to go with the U.N. Peacekeepers."

"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

"You may want to steer clear of Jensen until he gets accustomed to you. He can be a bit territorial."

As an experienced counsellor, she could see that their relationship had been doomed from the start.

"So many FANTASTIC applicants, where do we start!"

"For all the years I've worked here you've had it in for me...so will you get off my case."

Failure - Success

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

'We all need direction . . . '

'You must be one of Billy Covey's teachers.'

"Remember, Joey, Life is a good preparation for stocks -- lots of ups and downs."

'Joe's Bar. Threat Level: Medium.'

Carcinogenic/Non-carcinogenic.

"I was just surprised you put the word 'marriage' next to the question asking if you suffered from a chronic condition."

'Ghah. They've moved everything round again.'