Conciliation Officer T-Shirts

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

'Sorry I'm late. Got stuck on the M25 for two weeks.'

'I'm you early conciliation support officer.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

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'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

That's What Happens

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Time for tea and friendship.

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

Panama Papers Scandal

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

AI Safety Officer

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules