Conceptual Humor Fan Prints

A cow with Barbie's proportions.

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

The devil you know and his plus one

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Dog in casino.

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Sharp Eyes

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

Fetch the Boomerang

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

Bus for Giraffes.

"There's someone sleeping in my pew, and she's still there!"

The Tin Man really should have asked the wizard for common sense.

JEEZ! Who the hell is drawing you?

The emperor penguin's new clothes.

"I've finally accepted the fact that I am full of it. . . with the help of my psychiatrist."

Scare Doe

"Anita, you never told me you worked for a company with such deep pockets!"

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

Baby delivery

'Hey! When did you learn cursive?'

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

"That's strange. It must have been slow."

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

' I can't drink that..I'm a recovering alcoholic ! '