Computer Nerd Prints

"Someone out there loves me."

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

Boredom.

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

Nethead strip: Dates

Nethead strip: Sheep worrying

Nethead strip: Dating results

The first one's my cybersex partner, the other's my bit on the side.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Ascent of Machine.

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

The Age of Reptiles. . .

WiFi Signals

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

When you said the cat was hacking down here, I assumed you meant a hairball.

The real reason why flamingos are pink

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

'If only Darwin could have seen this.'

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'