Comprehension T-Shirts

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Bond James, Bond."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Barks in code.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

A boy acting suspiciously

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Prejudice/Empathy

"Your imagination is running wild. That's not a tiny drone sent to spy on us. That's just a fly."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'More government surveillance!'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

Licensed to grill.

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

The Best Defense

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."