Completing A Doctoral Thesis Pillows

"Your doctoral thesis so much reminds me of mine. No, wait a minute. I never had a doctoral thesis."

"I buried my doctoral thesis in an unmarked grave. . . because, ultimately, you never know."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Scientists are sexy

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

Book publishing.

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

Odd Mortarboards.

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

High Five

math faculty

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

"I totally meant to do that."

'He's a structural engineer.'

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

"The best part is, for me history is now history!"

"Okay, I finished my novel. Now what?"

Math Dept. Professor, I'd like to write my thesis on infinite sets. Don't start something you can't finish.

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

Night Owl

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

PhD

'Try not to be an idiot.'

Some New Mortarboard Styles.