Complementary Medicine Professional Pillows

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

"I suspect he might be depressed, let's give him a label and see whether a few years of unemployment and poverty helps his condition!"

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Acupuncture clinic

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

"Peterson should be sure to win the Nobel Prize! He has proven that the mutated Coronavirus also mutates laboratory rats!"

'Remember the NHS ethos; if it ain't broke, break it. Then make sure it can't be mended.'

'The trouble with you doctors is that you don't really understand what the NHS is for.'

"Let me through! I'm a quack."

"It's the worst part of working here...spending so much time with people at the end of their tether, ill, stressed, desperate for help..."

"I'll let you in on a little secret -- every pill on these shelves is a placebo, and I have no formal training."

'Let's play alternative health provider.'

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

Bovine Proctology Graduation

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"Wait, the ventilator...does it have wi-fi?"

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

"Dammit! I swallowed another one!"

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

Doctors talking about ways to confuse patients with jargon.

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"