Competitive Sports Fan Pillows

'Yeah - baseball, football and hockey...got concussions in all of them.'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"It's not her winning I mind, it's the "I am woman hear me roar" she always yells."

"Good game."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Go team!

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.