Competing Comedy Lover T-Shirts

'The rival bus tour company has made threats which we're taking seriously so please keep your helmets on.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Showbiz Awards

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Children's Parties

Director/Action Man toy.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Life is for the birds.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

The first car accident.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Painting by the numbers for adults