Company Party T-Shirts

These were Bob's colleagues, all right, but clearly they hadn't received Funny Fred's global email.

Pizza time.

"At our last company part the new guy turned water into wine. I thought it was just a cheap trick, but now I know that he really is capable of miracles...he even understands pie charts!"

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

'And then there's Jeffries... He's been with the company longer than anyone. You know where all the bodies are buried, eh, Jeffries? Ha Ha! Keep up the great work!'

'You're employed here. That's a fireable offense.'

"In this company we never call a co-worker lazy. so next time remember to use the politically correct term non-ambitious."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Bo're'droom

"The meeting will come to order."

Here and There Trays

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

That shows business confidence.

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Cat Nip.

Bacchus.

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

Party Animals.

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'