Company Historian Pillows

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

'When times are tough, it's vital to rally around the old firm, remember our history, all things that make us who we are.'

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

Stan Laural & Oliver Hardy.

"I always cry at mergers."

'for more obit info, go to...'

"Excellent Simons, I admire a 'yes' man who's not afraid to say 'yes'."

50 Year Celebrations.

"All those in favor of eroticizing our annual report 'aye.'"

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

"So that is unanimous then - nobody has a clue what to do."

"I've worked for the company for 40 years..."

'At last we have found 'The Land of the Obsolete Hardware','

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

'I miss the 90s. The good old days of hostile takeovers.'

'I'm miserable... but only for competitive purposes.'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help the Google?"

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"Grandma, I have to bring an antique to school. Can I borrow your flip phone?"

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

'Santa thinks desktops will come back.'