Community Gathering Pillows

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"The tomatoes came from our neighbor's garden. Please don't tell him."

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Social distancing

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Love linked

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

AA Meeting Here Today

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

The devil you know and his plus one

The prying mantis,

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

See you at the farmers market!

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"You two seem oddly suited."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Church Basement Foodie

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'