Communications Wizard Mugs

'This one is for fighting in the front lines of the international spin wars!'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"National security adviser"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

Twitter censorship

'Let us pray...'

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

'How fast can you hype?'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

The Horn of Unanswered Email

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

This reader asks, "Dear Dr. Ernie, is it true that most people need to improve their listening skills?" Sure, I enjoy the glistening hills.

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

The Communicator

"That's his answer to everything!"

'She just won't speak to me!'

"I need a more interactive you."

'In our press release, stress that our strategic focus will be on solving society's problems. This is code for making a bundle of money.'