Communication Strategy Buff Mugs

GPs Told to Rewrite Notes for Elderly in 'Simpler Terms'

'Look at me when I'm double-talking.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

Letter Collecting Nerd

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'Let us pray...'

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

'It's come to my notice, Simpson, that YOU'RE the glitch in the system.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

Brick Salesman

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Giving feedback is a complex process.

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

The Horn of Unanswered Email