Commitment-phobic Romantics Pillows

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

Dating Death

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'It can't last.'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'

"Hey, what if marriages had term limits?"

"It was a misunderstanding. I thought I was buying all rights to her hand in matrimony, she thinks it was just first rights."

'Garlic and crucifixes won't hurt, but if you really want to keep the Count at bay just say 'commitment'.'

Would you like it engraved? Yes please put to my one and only love. That way if we break up and she throws it back at me, I can use it on someone else.