Commercial Break Strategist Pillows

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

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"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

"Right, I think I'll call it fire, now I just need to work out how to monetise it

Elon Musk Ditches Twitter Logo

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

Peace on Earth

Turning 'Raw Hype' Into 'Pure Hype'

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

'It's not really rsutling, it's rebranding."

Out for lunch... GOD

"I can't wait to see our new ad campaign. Wait, don't tell me...it's NEW and IMPROVED!"

Designer Pouch

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

"Bob, it's about your branding."

How can you continue to call yourself Recession Man if we're not in a recession? The alternatives stink. Economic Limbo Man. Gradual Recovery Man. Jobs-Down-Stocks-Up Man. It'll-Take-years-to-Rebound Man. You need us to slide back into recession. It's the best branding strategy. The Adventures of Recession Man!

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

"I think it's the company logo."