Commander Of The Kitchen Pillows

Home Economics with an Attitude...

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Jack of all trades

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Too much cilantro

Kitchen Kapers

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Salt and Pepper

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

The Perfect Foil

"I'd like to toast our guests."

Kiss the Commander in Chef

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

'Cooking'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Ghostbasters 3

Chef copy robot

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

Onion Tears

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

The secret lives of household things.