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'Have you noticed there are more foot fetishists around today than usual?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Skiing.

Dog Walking Services

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Intelligent people laugh too!

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"They're comfortable."