Comedy Mechanic Prints

"It's garage music."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Electric Blanket.

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

Every time one of us gets a new head, those two think it's funny to call it "the changing of the gourd."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

'It keeps sensing disturbances in the Force!'

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'I think I found your missing nut.'

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

'Try it now.'

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."

"It's a loaner while mine's in the shop."

"Your German spark plugs won't work in your mini cooper because of Brexit."

'Oh, here comes trouble - spanner enters workplace full of cogs!'

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

Car Carriage

"It's nothing serious...just a flooded engine."

Unnatural Food-nuts and bolts, sale on junk foods, rusty nuts, bolts, and screws.

My other dog is a golden retriever