Comedy Farmer Pillows

'Farm Fool'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Oh Hi!'

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

A Tongue Stud.

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'